What's all the confusion, gay is happy...right?
of 11 votes, 36% like it
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I have a black belt for every occasion
of 12 votes, 58% like it
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I only exaggerate when I feel insignificant
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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I live on the edge, no seriously, my house is on a cliff
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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Insomniacs: creatures of the night
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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All animals were born to be wild
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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Duct tape is the answer to everything
of 20 votes, 50% like it
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My telekinesis only works on electronic automatic mechanisms
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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Mud: a nasty brown mess
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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I don't like hunting, I just like killing innocent animals
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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I can pogo stick with no hands
of 16 votes, 38% like it
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I should be a parking ticket, I got fine written all over me
of 16 votes, 38% like it
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Rumor is, word of mouth
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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Without gravity we'd all be astronauts
of 30 votes, 37% like it
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What if the Sun quit his day job?
of 30 votes, 33% like it
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My boat floats on hydrogen and oxygen
of 29 votes, 34% like it
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Cliffs: live on the edge
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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I feed my pet monster unicorn horns in rainbow sauce
of 34 votes, 32% like it
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Access limited, controlled by parents
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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Home is where the private stuff happens
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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Forty isn't old if you're a cougar
of 32 votes, 31% like it
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Power tools know the drill
of 31 votes, 45% like it
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Schools of fish never play hooky
of 33 votes, 36% like it
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Clothes give the effect that my birthday suit is a surprise
of 29 votes, 34% like it
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I'm so old school, I still use a pager
of 30 votes, 33% like it
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I need a handout, before we shake hands
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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Liquid oranges beat me to a pulp
of 30 votes, 37% like it
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Flavored powder packets and water beat me to the punch
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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Nothing is more brutal than someone's honest opinion
of 27 votes, 37% like it
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Vacuums are the biggest suck-ups
of 34 votes, 50% like it
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Nothing adds up better than numbers
of 34 votes, 56% like it
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I only listen to music when I'm put on hold
of 25 votes, 40% like it
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I'm more full of bones and organs than I am full of myself
of 23 votes, 48% like it
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Only at night is my shadow invisible
of 21 votes, 48% like it
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The chip on my shoulder has pre-installed parental controls
of 28 votes, 43% like it
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I save the world one roll of duct tape at a time
of 28 votes, 75% like it
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I only use manipulation when I'm influencing others
of 17 votes, 59% like it
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Having self control feels selfish to me
of 23 votes, 70% like it
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Books are like a one player video game, Movies are multiplayer
of 19 votes, 47% like it
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I wish I had a personal genie
of 21 votes, 48% like it
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Jump rope: jump or trip trying
of 22 votes, 59% like it
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I have limited access due to parental controls
of 26 votes, 42% like it
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Some superpowers need a safety lock
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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The dark ages needed parental controls
of 24 votes, 50% like it
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I use the internet as a personal babysitter
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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I can always count on my abacus
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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I followed the leader to the bridge, but I didn't jump
of 26 votes, 62% like it
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I hate when nuts get in the mix
of 36 votes, 42% like it
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I will never leave the sky once I learn to fly
of 31 votes, 45% like it
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Be more like an owl, and give a hoot
of 33 votes, 42% like it
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I'm not a leprechaun, but I'm lucky and charming
of 34 votes, 38% like it
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I was manipulated by my own influence
of 25 votes, 44% like it
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Woodpeckers are the original headbangers
of 40 votes, 43% like it
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I only riot for peace
of 31 votes, 48% like it
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I think that anyone wearing a mask is suspicious
of 30 votes, 43% like it
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I only run with scissors when I'm chasing paper
of 30 votes, 63% like it
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I would make a horrible zombie, brains are bland
of 24 votes, 46% like it
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My shadow keeps a pretty low profile
of 24 votes, 54% like it
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"Quote me, I'm almost famous" - me
of 24 votes, 58% like it
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Everything you know and everything you think you know is a rumor
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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Being practical is no joking matter
of 24 votes, 58% like it
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Aliens don't abduct, they drop-off idiots
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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Asking for directions would give away that I'm lost
of 31 votes, 61% like it
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Laser guns don't kill people, aliens with laser guns kill people
of 28 votes, 50% like it
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Using your head is good for your brain
of 33 votes, 45% like it
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I only eat animals that eat other animals
of 30 votes, 40% like it
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I would make a fortune selling good luck messages inside cookies
of 23 votes, 52% like it
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I only stop for red octagons
of 35 votes, 54% like it
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I'm a powerless superhero with a lot of issues
of 32 votes, 53% like it
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I feel that gravity has some control issues
of 44 votes, 70% like it
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Family trees take the longest to hug
of 37 votes, 68% like it
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I figured all white rabbits lived in black top hats
of 33 votes, 67% like it
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It would be hilarious if all sounds made a smell
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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I don't work here, I just look important
of 28 votes, 54% like it
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I feel sorry for the moon, it always works the graveyard shift
of 31 votes, 52% like it
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I only wear my cape when I fly
of 34 votes, 56% like it
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Tires perform better under pressure
of 32 votes, 59% like it
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I only judge books by the subject, author, pictures, and length
of 31 votes, 55% like it
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Only when I lose do I wish I cheated
of 27 votes, 48% like it
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Good manners are a handshake away
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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I could fly if gravity would just let go
of 37 votes, 73% like it
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I keep all of my fantasy worlds in the back of my closet
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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I look tired because the monster under my bed snores all night
of 30 votes, 57% like it
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I only came out of the closet to get away from the monster
of 32 votes, 75% like it
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I only run with scissors when rock is chasing me
of 29 votes, 69% like it
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I perfected how to get out of practice
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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I give two thumbs up to hitchhiking
of 27 votes, 48% like it
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I improvise like it was premeditated
of 29 votes, 55% like it
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I only eat fast food competitively
of 33 votes, 48% like it
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History: repeat after me
of 33 votes, 67% like it
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I used to be antisocial until I started responding to the voices
of 34 votes, 53% like it
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Forty isn't old if your'e a cougar
of 30 votes, 47% like it
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Out with the new, in with the recycled
of 31 votes, 52% like it
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Being Far Out is Easy for an Island
of 28 votes, 50% like it
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It's common for me to make sense
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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Reading this caused your train of thought to derail
of 24 votes, 46% like it
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Sleep makes all of my dreams come true
of 34 votes, 71% like it
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The bigger your dreams, the longer you have to sleep in
of 35 votes, 51% like it
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Sleep: a dream come true
of 43 votes, 60% like it
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Puzzles are worth a thousand pieces
of 30 votes, 47% like it
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Noise hates the sound of silence
of 29 votes, 66% like it
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Multiplayer games taught me how to share
of 32 votes, 63% like it
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Numbers can always be counted on
of 22 votes, 55% like it
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I'm only strange if your'e a stranger
of 23 votes, 52% like it
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I improvise as if it was premeditated
of 26 votes, 62% like it
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Circles are pointless shapes
of 39 votes, 77% like it
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Improv: fake it like it was premeditated
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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Flying: just wing it
of 36 votes, 53% like it
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I leave mimes speechless
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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To get to the point, summarize
of 25 votes, 60% like it
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Clocks: the first time machine
of 33 votes, 76% like it
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Hunting: when video games aren't real enough
of 28 votes, 54% like it
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I can tame a fire with a stick and a marshmallow
of 35 votes, 60% like it
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I would gladly walk in your shoes if you would take them off
of 26 votes, 58% like it
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Fitting anonymous messages into tiny spaces is lame
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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It would be rude to ignore the voices in my head
of 34 votes, 68% like it
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I only fight small fires with sticks and marshmallows
of 35 votes, 80% like it
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I read all of my books on tape
of 28 votes, 57% like it
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I play with words for the pun of it
of 30 votes, 63% like it
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I only make a scene in the proper setting
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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Clocks: time travel all the time
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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Gullible people always read my t-shirt
of 24 votes, 58% like it
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I never seem to miss the obvious
of 26 votes, 54% like it
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Jackhammers are groundbreaking
of 26 votes, 54% like it
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Words always speak louder than mimes
of 25 votes, 60% like it
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Plan B is my only back-up plan
of 26 votes, 69% like it
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I can turn a ton of money into my favorite things
of 23 votes, 57% like it
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Actions always speak louder for mimes
of 35 votes, 77% like it
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I only exchange hugs for hugs
of 29 votes, 59% like it
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I'm almost a black belt in superhero
of 36 votes, 42% like it
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This invention covers my torso
of 31 votes, 52% like it
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The grass is always greener when it's artificial
of 31 votes, 81% like it
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A good antonym is always the opposite
of 25 votes, 48% like it
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My only death wish would be to live forever
of 30 votes, 53% like it
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A comic book is worth a thousand speech bubbles
of 36 votes, 72% like it
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I am only a part-time superhero until I find a full-time villain
of 30 votes, 60% like it
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I'm tired of being an insomniac
of 46 votes, 74% like it
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This is my super powerless costume
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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Word of mouth is just a rumor
of 35 votes, 69% like it
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If you heard I don't like starting trouble, that's just a rumor
of 31 votes, 48% like it
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I don't kill people, I only kill who they think they are
of 34 votes, 56% like it
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My biggest fan is hangin' in my room
of 30 votes, 53% like it
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I only cook with microwavable instructions
of 24 votes, 54% like it
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My audience is mother approved
of 22 votes, 50% like it
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My side of the story will be illustrated in storyboard format
of 27 votes, 63% like it
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I failed the invincibility exam to become a superhero, again
of 24 votes, 50% like it
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When I'm famous, people will quote me. - me
of 37 votes, 68% like it
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I have nothing in common with sense
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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I only pretend to make believe
of 30 votes, 57% like it
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I was raised in a nudist colony, this is my first t-shirt
of 33 votes, 48% like it
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I enjoy the sound of silence over noise
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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I beatbox when the elevator music stops
of 28 votes, 54% like it
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I always got caught red handed after finger painting
of 24 votes, 54% like it
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I miss work when it was called an allowance
of 28 votes, 64% like it
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Insomniacs always stay up past their bedtime
of 28 votes, 54% like it
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Someday, time machines will change history
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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The theory of relatives is all genetic
of 28 votes, 50% like it
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I'm not one to judge, especially not without my gavel
of 31 votes, 74% like it
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I'm thankful that only a few sounds make smells
of 31 votes, 45% like it
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A mute button sounds amazing right about now
of 32 votes, 47% like it
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The nugget is my favorite part of the chicken
of 31 votes, 55% like it
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Trees always get me back with paper cuts
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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I always wave back to mannequins
of 29 votes, 62% like it
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Sleeping all day would be a dream come true
of 34 votes, 53% like it
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My thumbs come in handy when eating finger foods
of 20 votes, 55% like it
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Apparently, I am not invisible
of 27 votes, 63% like it
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mannequins are robots with no batteries
of 37 votes, 46% like it
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if i was a cartoon, i would wear the same thing everyday
of 43 votes, 60% like it
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curiosity left eight unsolved mysteries before the cat died
of 34 votes, 44% like it
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sticks and stones start fires and break windows all the time
of 37 votes, 46% like it
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i'm gonna need a chair when the music stops
of 36 votes, 50% like it
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i try to be practical, but i still pogo stick to work
of 33 votes, 45% like it
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permanent markers always make a lasting impression
of 32 votes, 75% like it
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all of my t-shirts have something to say
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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the nightmares didn't start until the third monster moved in
of 40 votes, 45% like it
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getting advice from a clown is a joke
of 37 votes, 49% like it
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i survived the dial-up era
of 31 votes, 48% like it
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food is one of the friendliest enemies known to man
of 26 votes, 50% like it
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eating with both hands is a balanced diet
of 34 votes, 68% like it
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reality is boring until imitated on TV
of 34 votes, 50% like it
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i daydream to pick up where my dreams left off
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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my map still thinks the world is flat
of 34 votes, 59% like it
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i only sit when the music stops
of 35 votes, 43% like it
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(on back of tee) free piggyback rides: 8am-5pm
of 32 votes, 47% like it
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i only go to the gym to renew my membership
of 35 votes, 46% like it
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don't mind me, i am just an extra in your life story
of 34 votes, 62% like it
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i have a photographic memory, i just don't know how to use it
of 27 votes, 48% like it
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camping reminds me of when i was a kid being raised by wolves
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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i ate my cool beans for breakfast
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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the story of my life is unrated and uncut
of 36 votes, 56% like it
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save the world, use large amounts of duct tape
of 36 votes, 47% like it
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laser guns don't kill humans, aliens with laser guns kill humans
of 48 votes, 48% like it
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work is only work if you have something better to be doing
of 56 votes, 54% like it
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i pretend to listen as you pretend to know what you are saying
of 65 votes, 57% like it
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a time machine would help me kill time more effectively
of 62 votes, 65% like it
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ideas live on forever, thanks to plagiarism
of 52 votes, 50% like it
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street smarts mean nothing if you don't look both ways
of 44 votes, 48% like it
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the dumbest people seem to know everything
of 51 votes, 61% like it
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running is a defensive reaction when being chased, not excercise
of 44 votes, 52% like it
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can i help you? (just say no, please, please, please, say no)
of 42 votes, 45% like it
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lets not resort to bagpipes
of 40 votes, 50% like it
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a glass half empty was a thirsty pessimist
of 36 votes, 47% like it
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water feels claustrophobic all bottled up
of 35 votes, 46% like it
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to do list: 1. list things to do
of 50 votes, 72% like it
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going bald cures dandruff
of 91 votes, 49% like it
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kids and coffee: better grounded
of 106 votes, 50% like it
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aliens don't abduct, they drop-off idiots, i'm convinced
of 102 votes, 47% like it
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the only thing that gets me down is gravity.
of 169 votes, 64% like it
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the art of patience is a big waste of time.
of 100 votes, 47% like it
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morning people should get night jobs. it is only fair.
of 109 votes, 54% like it
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crossing time zones is close enough to time travel.
of 137 votes, 65% like it
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i only give wrong directions to tourists.
of 138 votes, 66% like it
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it takes two hands to high five.
of 105 votes, 48% like it
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i pogo stick to work.
of 68 votes, 47% like it
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a good recipe has microwavable instructions.
of 68 votes, 44% like it
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the monster under my bed finally got evicted.
of 67 votes, 43% like it
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always carry a mustache, never know when you need to be sneaky.
of 104 votes, 60% like it
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be careful what you wish for, unicorns are mean.
of 66 votes, 41% like it
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cursive is super fancy scribbling.
of 65 votes, 38% like it
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your shadow is touching me.
of 66 votes, 47% like it
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respect your elders, they've ran uphill barefoot on lava n'stuff.
of 68 votes, 46% like it
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Quick, Look Suspicious.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
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if the shoe fits, it's probably yours.
of 75 votes, 52% like it
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asking for directions would give away that i am lost.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
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running is overrated when you can skip.
of 54 votes, 41% like it
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i only litter to provide shelters for needy insects and rodents
of 51 votes, 41% like it
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